The Four Agreements
Everyday I’m reminded how fragile our egos and emotions are. Although some people appear “tough” and pretend they don’t care what other people think about them. I find that is quite the opposite. As human beings we have the need for approval, praise, and encouragement. We revel in being told what a great job we’re doing, how good we look, how important we are and of course how loved we are. Sadly not everyone receives those accolades on a daily or regular basis. But they should!!
I turn to the Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz every chance I get – it keeps me grounded, focused and in check. I challenge my co-workers, clients and friends to do the same whenever I can. It’s really a no-brainer, but a learned way of thinking.
Here’s how it goes:
Consciously practice these four principals on a daily basis, several times throughout the day.
1. Speak Impeccably.
( Impeccably means “well” – no harshness, no mean undertones or sarcasm. No hurtful words) In other words “ If you can’t say something nice about someone, then don’t say anything at all.”
Makes perfect sense. But let’s try it. By nature, we love to repeat a story, better known as gossip. Usually it’s hurtful or unhappy things we’re repeating. When we do this- the law of attraction is bringing that negativity right back to us. And that’s not good.
So today, (or for the next hour) practice saying, repeating only positive, uplifting things about a situation or other person. It takes practice- so start on it now! And remember practice makes PERFECT!
2. Don’t Assume
We always, always, always assume. Peoples feelings get hurt, trust’s get broken, cold wars start. All kinds of bad things. All because we “assume”. In actuality we don’t Know other peoples’ motives or thoughts- we take it upon ourselves to “assume” and it’s usually for the worst. When someone doesn’t answer their cell phone, we assume they’re ignoring us or don’t want to talk to us. I’ve seen many relationships get strained or broken because we make terribly wrong assumptions. Our imagination goes wild in a negative way. It’s destructive and unnecessary. RIGHT NOW- STOP ASSUMING!
3. Take Nothing Personally
Yea- right! This is my favorite one. Mainly because it’s SO HARD TO DO! Why is it we think everything is about us? When in fact, nothing could be farther from the truth. People do things because it’s about them, not us! If someone is rude or mean to us, it has nothing to do with us, it’s about how they’re feeling. When someone is happy with themselves they want others to be happy, when someone is unhappy, their unhappiness rubs off on us. Misery loves company. Walk away- don’t take it personally- it has NOTHING to do with you. No matter what they may say.
4. Do Your Best
That’s all any of us can do! There will always be people better, smarter, faster than us. Just do your best. We are our own worst enemy! We put demands on ourselves that no one else would or should. Don’t worry about getting judged. There is a GOD, and you’re not it, nor is anyone else. JUST DO YOUR BEST!
Start these four agreements today, right now! I like to keep an ongoing journal. It’s not gong to be easy at first, but just start it until you get into the rhythm. It will change everything in your life and the way you look at it.
And most important, REMEMBER THIS: You are doing a great job! You look fabulous with a peaceful glow and aura, you make such a big difference in this world and you are truly loved!
Be of Good Cheer! You hold the key!